the fireground

So, I haven’t been painting, lately.

Gearing up for Somerville Open Studios, I was so happy to have finally gotten into the groove of painting all of the time.  Almost every night, I would make a pot of tea, turn on the lamp at my easel, and throw some paint on the canvas.

A month ago, my father died.  It was somewhat unexpected – the speed of it, I mean.   I thought for sure that there would be just a little more time.

My father was probably my greatest supporter, as a painter.  When I was a teenager, he asked me to paint a fire scene for him.  He was a Deputy Fire Chief  (eventually being a Chief, as did his own father), and he loved firefighting like nothing else. It was he who instilled in me the belief that you need to do what you love, and exemplified that ideal.  I do regret that it took me so long to find the courage to do it, myself, and I wish that he could have seen my work exhibited in the cafe.

Anyway, I was dragging my feet on this painting.  I was a young teenager and it was summer and I suppose I was being lazy.  He would occasionally ask how it was coming along.  Never pushing; just gently nudging.  I continued to work at a snail’s pace, preferring to spend my days lounging in the sun or reading or whatever it was that young teenaged girls did to wile away their time in the summer instead of being more productive. I suppose the basis of that avoidance was really the fear that it wouldn’t be good enough.

I did finish it, finally.  Even if it was truly horrible, he still would have thought that it was a great painting.  He had it framed and hung it in his office at the Fire Academy. In his later years, he kept it in his man-room at home.  Now, visiting my mother on weekends, his room is so empty.  But the painting glares out at me.

I have a commission to do, on which I’ve been dragging my feet.  This week, it will be good to get back into the habit of making a pot of tea, turning on the lamp at my easel, and throwing some paint on the canvas…

Silly Cece in Sepia

I wanted to finish one more painting for Somerville Open Studios last weekend, and figured I could use a different, messier approach with the paint, and – oh, just whip this up on Friday night.  I was delusional.

It was a reminder that we have styles all our own and my style is not something I can just switch around, like a color (like sepia, here!).  Rrrrrgh.

Still have lots to do (eye creases, lashes, and brows; forehead and hair), but will finish tonight.  Really!

I’ll practice my faster, messier painting another time…

Mr. Blue, finito

While my work was hanging at True Grounds, no painting elicited more emails and phone calls than this one.  Some were very touching, even (and I so appreciated them!).

As I wrote when I first started Blue, he is a big, mushy explosion of joy. While I was painting him, I was hoping that that sense of joy would translate through the brush… through the paint.  Based on the response I got, I think it did.  Although there were portraits that I felt were as good or better,  their expressions were more somber.  Most people who contacted me talked about Blue, and it just goes to show that no matter how crazy we get, people are still drawn to joy.  Thank you, Blue.

And, yes, he really is cross-eyed.  It’s part of his charm.

Blue, getting there…

Blue is looking more like a character out of a children’s book, and I can’t help but notice the way that each of the dogs have been represented so differently, in style and technique and all.  In working from my subconscious (as I know we do), I find it interesting that Blue the Pit Bull is a mushy children’s book character.  I like that.

Blue, started

Blue never fails to elicit a smile from me.  Even when I’m having an annoying day, I get to Blue’s house and can hear the thumpthumpthump of his tail on the other side of the door, waiting for me to open it.  Once I do, he explodes out of it, bouncing like rubber in fits of joy and laughter and wriggles.  Blue is a Pit Bull and, as such, is on the receiving end of a lot of fear and misunderstanding.  But Blue and I let them think what they want – we go on to have a super fun and happy and friendly time.